Friday, 17 July 2009

Annemarie's Sadness & Solace

When Annemarie and I were talking about New York She described the day She had received the news from the doctors ... where She went to contemplate ...

... and although all this took place in winter, I hope this conversation and these pictures will help you be closer to Her

[2009/06/17 17:30] Annemarie Niekerk: there is also a spot I love
[2009/06/17 17:30] Annemarie Niekerk: close to ground zero
[2009/06/17 17:30] Olivia Paderborn nods
[2009/06/17 17:30] Annemarie Niekerk: it is a memorial for the irish
[2009/06/17 17:31] Olivia Paderborn: I dont think I know it
[2009/06/17 17:31] Annemarie Niekerk: it is called the Irish hunger memorial garden
[2009/06/17 17:32] Olivia Paderborn shivers
[2009/06/17 17:32] Annemarie Niekerk: it is in lower manhattan
[2009/06/17 17:32] Annemarie Niekerk: on the west side
[2009/06/17 17:32] Olivia Paderborn: ok :)
[2009/06/17 17:32] Annemarie Niekerk: overlooking the river
[2009/06/17 17:34] Annemarie Niekerk: when i heard the news
[2009/06/17 17:34] Annemarie Niekerk: i went to that memorial
[2009/06/17 17:35] Annemarie Niekerk: it overlooks liberty island and ellis island
[2009/06/17 17:35] Olivia Paderborn: holds you close
[2009/06/17 17:35] Annemarie Niekerk: have sat there for hours
[2009/06/17 17:35] Annemarie Niekerk: walked across manhattan
[2009/06/17 17:35] Annemarie Niekerk: and sat for more hours watching the brooklyn bridge
[2009/06/17 17:36] Annemarie Niekerk: thought about jumping
[2009/06/17 17:36] Olivia Paderborn: yes
[2009/06/17 17:36] Annemarie Niekerk: then this old policeman walked up to me
[2009/06/17 17:37] Annemarie Niekerk: placed his hand on my shoulder
[2009/06/17 17:37] Annemarie Niekerk: must have been close to 60
[2009/06/17 17:38] Annemarie Niekerk: then said
[2009/06/17 17:38] Annemarie Niekerk: it is not worth it Miss
[2009/06/17 17:38] Annemarie Niekerk: it is no solution
[2009/06/17 17:38] Olivia Paderborn: hugs you with tears
[2009/06/17 17:38] Annemarie Niekerk: i just looked at him
[2009/06/17 17:38] Annemarie Niekerk: and nodded
[2009/06/17 17:38] Annemarie Niekerk: and then i went home
[2009/06/17 17:39] Olivia Paderborn: and carried your pain and still looked after all of us
[2009/06/17 17:39] Annemarie Niekerk: yes
[2009/06/17 17:39] Annemarie Niekerk: is who i am
[2009/06/17 17:40] Olivia Paderborn: and gave all of us happiness
[2009/06/17 17:40] Olivia Paderborn: as we have tried to give you
[2009/06/17 17:41] Olivia Paderborn: thank you for being with us
[2009/06/17 17:41] Olivia Paderborn: you have made a difference to me as well as lizje
[2009/06/17 17:43] Olivia Paderborn: and through me I promise you will continue to make a difference
[2009/06/17 17:43] Annemarie Niekerk: you all have enriched my life
[2009/06/17 17:44] Olivia Paderborn: hugs
[2009/06/17 17:45] Annemarie Niekerk: sorry for being so silent
[2009/06/17 17:45] Olivia Paderborn: we are both relective tonight
[2009/06/17 17:45] Annemarie Niekerk: just enjoying being with you
[2009/06/17 17:45] Olivia Paderborn: smiles
[2009/06/17 17:45] Olivia Paderborn: thank you

Looking towards Liberty Island and Ellis Island
From the garden and paths around the Irish Hunger Memorial Garden
Entering the memorial. which is held up in the sky by these engraved pillars

You enter a small stone cottage, transplanted from Ireland

Set in a sea of Irish grasses and flowers

Looking out over the Hudson River and up to the Heavens

Rest In Peace

"Grief is the Price we Pay for Love"

Thursday was spent in sad reflection at three memorials
- the Irish Hunger Memorial, that I will explain in my next post
- the World Trade Centre site and its interim memorial museum
- and St Pauls the small 1766 church across the road from the Twin Towers and that survived their collapse

I lit a candle from all of us for Her at this small and beautiful church

I then had the wonderful uplifting experience of listening to a group of schoolkids sing beautiful hymns

The title of this post is from a sign I saw at the WTC memorial,
and is so very true

We should remember Her and yet know She is at peace after a long period of suffering and pain

She would want us all to enjoy simple things such as trees in a churchyard and the pure sound of a young choir

She always asked us to celebrate Her life ... all life

Thursday, 16 July 2009


So a difference in my blog today
(obvious I know)
is that I am publishing some RL pictures

I had this conversation when I told the girls I was stopping off at San Francisco, en route to New York ...

[2009/07/14 13:41] O: so I shall talk a walk along Fisherman's Wharf and catch a cable car

(oooh, a tram from my home town on Fisherman's wharf - how deja vu!)

[2009/07/14 13:41] T : do that
[2009/07/14 13:42] T : and have a great view from telegraphy hill

(hugs, just for you my dear)

[2009/07/14 13:42] T : enjoy the park
[2009/07/14 13:42] O : oh have you been here ?
[2009/07/14 13:42] T : uhuh
[2009/07/14 13:42] O : :))
[2009/07/14 13:42] T : it's a very open minded city
[2009/07/14 13:42] T : so i liked it

So do I .......... OXO


Tonight is the third week anniversary of Annemarie's death ~ 25/26 of June.

Only a few people knew at the time, but 2 weeks before that I went to New York to be close to this wonderful woman and provide her support should she need it at that time. And also to simply be spiritually nearer to her.

I then went to Europe for two and half weeks to be close to Annemarie's girls should they in turn need my support.

During that time I shared moments of New York with Annemarie: what her favourite places were and so on.

I had told Annemarie I would come to New York in July to pay my respects to her by visiting Liberty Island.

A pilgrimage ...

... than begins on a cold blustery morning with me riding in a taxi to the airport

Friday, 10 July 2009

thank you family and friends

It has been two weeks without Annemarie
For 6 months I worked daily to ensure Her happiness
And now She is gone

Comforting Anne's girls and helping them through their pain is now my focus
This was Anne's wish of me and I intend to do my best by Her

evie is by my side in all I do
As are danielle, ellie and roberta
Their love is such a wonderful gift
I am truly blessed

This year much has changed in my life
Yet all my friends continue to support me in many many ways with great understanding

Thank you all for your friendship and your love

Family and Friends
I love you all

a new experience

I attended the wedding as a bridesmaid ...
It was a lovely ceremony ...
And afterwards I danced with evie at the reception ...

And now they have a twin boy and girl ... and so here I am baby sitting ... a new experience !

Such cute babies :-)


ellie looking beautifully contrite